When a relationship is ending
Young people and relationships
Breaking up may be nobody's fault. It can be hard, but sometimes it is the best thing for two people to make the decision that they cannot grow anymore in their relationship.
People may react differently when a relationship ends. It is not uncommon to feel sadness, anger, disbelief, guilt or relief. Managing these feelings may be hard. For more information about managing your anger you may want to check out the anger factsheet at the Reachout site.
It may take some time to accept that the relationship has ended and it is time to move on. Sometimes the ending of a relationship can give you time to learn more about yourself, spend time with your friends and do things that you enjoy doing. Having someone you can talk to may be helpful. This could be a friend, family member, youth worker or counsellor.
You may find it helpful to:
Keep busy - Keeping active and doing things you enjoy may help to keep your mind off the break-up. You may want to hang out with friends, read a book, go for a run or walk, or listen to music.
Try something new - Sometimes it is helpful to make a fresh start by trying something different. There may be a course you have always wanted to do, for example drama, art, yoga, or you may want to start playing sport.
Look after yourself - It may be a difficult time and it is important that you look after yourself. Eating a healthy diet and doing something active can be helpful. It may also help to treat yourself to something that you enjoy.
Remind yourself that you are OK - Think about your achievements, your friends, the people that have said good things about you and the things that you like doing.
Be true to yourself - You may feel a range of expected and unexpected emotions. These feelings are a normal part of a relationship ending and an opportunity to strengthen your resiliency.
Communicate with someone you can trust - Getting some support when a relationship is ending may help you work through how you are feeling. You may find it helpful to talk to your friends, your parents or carers, a teacher, school counsellor, doctor or another person that you can trust.
For more info about how these people can help check out the help kit at the Reachout site.
Ending a relationship
When you are in a relationship, over time your personal interests may change, you grow apart or you have less in common and it may be time for you to think about ending the relationship.
Ending a relationship may be difficult for both people, and respecting one another can make things easier. Once you decide to end the relationship, it is a good idea to be honest, kind and definite.
You may want to tell the other person what you have been feeling and thinking and what you want for yourself. It is not helpful to blame each other or try to pick out faults. Sometimes people are just different, and getting to know someone during a relationship can show up differences that you didn't know before. Differences are natural but they may not help you, or the relationship, to stay strong, happy and healthy.
Acknowledgements
Thanks to REACHOUT who contributed to this factsheet. They have a great site to visit for more information.
For more information
- Relationships Australia - More information about intimate relationships or relationships at work
- Relationships- General overview about relationships
- Kids Help Line - 1800 55 1800
- Lifeline - 131 114
Contact the FPNSW Healthline on 1300 658 886.
